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Well we asked you for some embarrassing, unbelievable or just downright stupid things teachers have said. Although we received quiet a few we dare not print, here?s what we could:
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?The most amazing thing about water is that it?s wet? (A science teacher)

?I lie awake in bed thinking about you?

?I think about you a lot you know?

?If you don?t put that [a ruler] down you know where I?ll be shoving it.? We got a lot of quotes following this format, a surprisingly high amount regarding one science teacher in particular... another classic one from this un-nameable teacher is "it would be a shame to castrate you on the last lesson"

We also got lots of quotes regarding one English teacher; a quote from one of his reports reads ?[pupil] needs to improve his speeling?, and being an English teacher he even decided to make up a whole new word ? ?positivism?.

We've got an apology to make here, it would seem that "positivism" is a real word after all, and this was kindly pointed out to us in an anonymous note through the registers containing a photocopy of a page from a dictionary. However, what we didn't say before is the exact quote and that is this

"Greater collaboration and positivism would undoubtedly be of benefit to the classroom environment." (taken from a pupil's report).

However the dictionary definition of positivism (taken from the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary) is:

"Positivism: 1. A system of philosophy elaborated by Auguste Comte which recognizes only positive facts and observable phenomena; also a religious system founded upon this principle, in which the object of worship is humanity considered as a single corporate being. 2a) Definiteness; b) certainty, assurance"

Which means that, although positivism is a real word, it was used totally out of context anyway. It was presumably used with an intended meaning of being positive about the class, i.e. helpful, participating etc, however its actual meaning relates either to absolute certainty or a philosophical system founded in the 1800's! You would think that the English teacher (who cannot be named) would have checked the definition before they sent the page from the dictionary to us!

If you have any more don't hesitate to contact us. We hope to keep updating this page each month!